There’s no law that says we can’t have a committed relationship and have a beautiful life with someone without being married. There has been some movement in attitudes about marriage but there is still a lot of pressure that if you aren’t married by a certain age you are missing something. You can have a beautiful life. You can have connections. You can define your relationship. You don’t have to be bound by what society says. You can decide together, “We can make this whatever we want to make this.” It’s so strange how when you let go of all the things you are supposed to do, or think you have to do to succeed, then what you need becomes clear and it comes to you.
You are stronger than you think you are. You really are stronger than you think you are. Just think back on all the things that you’ve been through and that you’ve made it through. Every time you’re like, “I didn’t know that I could do it.” Or thought at that time, “Oh, my God. I can’t do it.” There are times when I know everyone felt like, “I’m going to die. I can’t do it. I can’t make it through this.” But you do. You always do. You power through.
Don’t let other people limit your possibilities. If you want something new, and different and better, don’t listen to the negative people in your life that tell you that you don’t have what it takes to go through it. They may have their own reasons for wanting you to stay where you are rather than grow and move forward. You decide.
From a woman who started over in her 30s, moving to NYC from the Midwest with a duffel bag, up and leaving her marriage. Now on Wall street, traveling the world and in a committed, non-married relationship.
Also this week, a recommendation for a book that is very 4020 Vision. I could relate to a lot of the themes in Glynnis MacNicol’s, No One Tells You This.
This NYT Book Review captures the book’s essence — the 40-something author’s journey, and her adventures along the way, to choosing the solo life (vs marriage and children) and answering the question, “What makes a woman’s life worth living?”
About Three Gifts (and tell us yours!):
Three Gifts for a 20-Something: What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? Here 40-somethings share three wishes to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for them (not their parents, friends, teachers or society). No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
You can submit your three gifts here (no matter what your age).