It should be two ways all the time. Resentment will build if one person thinks the relationship is great because they get what they want…and the other person isn’t. You have to support each other. I don’t mean who is working or not working or who is earning money. It’s about paying attention to what they want. It doesn’t have to be something big –it just has to be thoughtful. It could be knowing they love Snickers in the freezer.
You have to know yourself when you are in it…so your spouse or partner can know what it is you want. When my sister was interested in going to Law School her husband really pushed her to fill out the paper work because he knew it was important. That is a huge thing. When you are in tune with that person who is your partner, you can see what their drawback. When you know why they might fail at something, you help them push through it. That is a great thing in a relationship. When you see that they love a certain hobby or are proud of their job, you say, “You knew what, that is great for them, let’s make it a priority.” Supporting a goal is one thing but helping them see a goal is another.
-40-something, San Diego, married