You Can’t “Make” It Work


Today’s post on closing one window and opening another. A love story.


It’s true. It’s better to be happy on your own than miserable in a relationship. I stayed with something for too long despite being unhappy. We were separate people living in the same house. It’s a terrible way to spend time. I knew I was unhappy but I felt obligated to make everything work. But you can’t “make” it work. Only through a bizarre series of events was I able to see it. My friend needed me to watch her dog and I stayed at her apartment for a week. I was so excited about it – I felt like I could have a secret life. After a week I thought this is the happiest I have felt in years. I can do whatever the hell I want. I realized I would rather be happy by myself than miserable with someone else.

And that is a hard thing to come to. Because we are hard wired that we have to be in a relationship.  Don’t think that just because you’ve dated someone for three years that eventually you should get married to this person. Do you even like this person? If you don’t like them, why are you getting married to them?

There are a bazillion people in the world — there is no reason to be with someone who makes you unhappy…in any capacity. Ever. That person in your life should enrich your life. And make your life funny, more fun, and more awesome, and more great. They should make you feel more beautiful than you already do. Not the opposite. It shouldn’t be a bad feeling to be with them.

– 40-something, fashion entrepreneur, married, mom, reveled in being alone for six months, got her self and her “happy”  back and then met her husband at a bar just having fun with her friends

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