Great Partner or Great Love Part II









A few weeks ago we answered a 20-something question on finding a great partner or great love

Q: If I feel like I might be compromising for the possibility of a great partner, is it worth giving up the possibility of a great “love”?

See the post and original answers here.

Today I’m sharing another response from a reader how wanted to add to the conversation with her two cents. Love her straight-shooting, honest and experience-based POV.


Dear Ms. Compromise:

The harmonious but undramatic “sound” you hear may be the lack of “static” that attends the worrisome state when you’re not sure your partner loves you back, cares as much as you do, will stick around, etc. You can spend years and years of your twenties… and thirties… and forties… listening to the same tune while waiting for things to seem perfect. You may just have to get used to the lack of noise (read: drama) when you’ve found compatible friendship and lasting love with a true companion. People get so accustomed to coping with the feelings of a relationship gone wrong that they don’t recognize the signs of a relationship going well!

I don’t agree with the “passion fades friendship endures” brigade. I’ve been together with my best friend for 22 years (I first MET him when I was pushing 40). The attraction was always there. He was “major cute” to me, and his family rocks. But one woman’s filet mignon is another woman’s Big Mac. It’s highly subjective!

Over the years, the texture of both friendship and passion has changed a little, but we are still the sophomoric pranksters we always were, and keep looking for new and improved ways to please/torment each other. Love is a kaleidoscope, ever changing but always interesting. My good mate is still my hot date (and I dress for the occasion, every time). Love begets love, so work it! Give him a fair chance and then decide whether he’s a keeper or just a dress rehearsal for the next one. – 40:20 Vision reader, Hollis Wagenstein, 61 

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