What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? 40-something women share three things to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for themselves. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. You can’t actually make a 40-year-old decision at 20. Prepare for the evolution of your life and be open minded because that really is what prohibits people from becoming happy. They aren’t prepared for change. That is how life is. Families have evolved. Work has evolved. But one thing is true– you can be open to the evolution of your life. Try not to have a fixed picture of what it will be.
2. If you want a relationship, realize that it’s not all about goals and ambitions. It’s more about wanting to truly spend time with the person, to have a true, real connection to someone that is valid. You have to agree to disagree on some things but I think respect is an enormous factor in the longevity of a relationship. If you don’t respect the person’s opinion, you won’t want to talk to them. I don’t understand how you could have a lifelong commitment to the person or be happy without respect.
3. Be strong in your opinions and hold steady to your opinions but do not be judgmental because you will almost always regret it.