Every time I interview a 40-something woman for 40:20 Vision I ask them what three “gifts” would they give a 20-something if they were a “Forty-Godmother”. In essence, three things to help you get a head start on perspective and gain the confidence you need to make decisions that are right for you. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. Don’t avoid the tough issues. You have to go through them. You can’t take the easy route or you will never move forward. You have to go through it to get to know yourself and how you want to live your life. I think when I was younger, it was easier to just go around the issue and be mad for that day then just say “whatever”. It’s easier to just get along and just keep ignoring the elephant in the room. But then you find yourself years later asking yourself…where am I?
2. Keep working on your résumé, even if that’s your résumé of life as opposed to your work résumé. You have to be continuously thinking about it. And always be thinking how you’re going to take care of yourself. It’s not about being selfish or a soloist. It doesn’t mean nobody can take care of you, it means you are valuing yourself.
3. Hold on to your girlfriends. That’s the most important thing. Nurture those relationships because you’re going to need them. If they’re not ever there for you when you’re down – you have to rethink the friendship. Sometimes it’s hard to be there when you are going through a difficult time. But you can just say “I’m going through a tough time so it’s hard for me to give perspective but I’m here to listen. I might not be able to give you what you’re looking for from me, but I’m here for you.” I think that is really important.