Every time I interview a 40-something woman for 40:20 Vision I ask them what three “gifts” would they give a 20-something if they were a “Forty-Godmother”. In essence, three things to help you get a head start on perspective and gain the confidence you need to make decisions that are right for you. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. Know that decisions you make about your career are not a 20-year decision but you have to keep your toe in the water. My husband and I, our careers are modulating every couple of years. We’re constantly shifting as the landscape changes. Layoffs, children, parents…you never know what is going to happen. In a marriage with two careers, you’re not going in a straight line. You trade off, you cycle through. Each of your careers may flow like smaller stints where someone ramps up and someone ramps down a little bit and then someone ramps up, etc.
2. If you get married, put the money where people will experience it and then skimp on the things that people will not even notice. I got the cheapest tables that anyone has ever heard of because no one sees them, they will be covered. The cost benefit isn’t really there. So put your money towards the experience.
3. Life gets a lot easier when you figure out what is important and what is not important and then focus your efforts on the important, strip away time spent on the not important. It’s the same cost benefit ratio but applied to your time. As a mom, in your career, it’s what you need to move forward. Decide what’s important and what’s not important and then be confident in that decision.