40-something Do’s and Don’ts – What 20 Years Taught Me


Today’s post shares reflections on life and career — what;s wrong about being right and more.


Don’t hide behind your fears. I have learned that usually when relationships – work or personal – get stuck it’s often because someone is letting their insecurities get in the way of moving forward and finding a solution. If something doesn’t work…don’t waste your time blaming someone else or defending being right. Do spend your time learning from what went wrong and getting to a better answer. Blame is when fear of being wrong trumps the desire for progress.

Do realize that even the most confident  seeming people have insecurities (thus they may hide behind their fears).

Don’t let the how get in the way of the why. Be flexible with process and open yourself to trying new ways. Process is a great tool and guidepost but it is the killer of new ideas if it is not subject to change.

Do ask why. Instead of wondering what you did wrong or why you didn’t get asked to a meeting….ask. Knowing is better than guessing.

Don’t think the movie in your head is real. Often what you think it is the biggest drama is ten times worse in your own head than in the other person’s head.

Do realize that people have their own dramas. If they didn’t call you back there is likely a reason that has nothing to do with you. Call back…. email back. Persistence works as long as you keep interesting.

Don’t take no for answer.

Do realize the above applies only to professional life. In personal relationships no usually means no and persistence can get boring really fast.

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