Today I’m sharing the perspective of a 40-something art gallery owner and breast cancer survivor …but beyond the labels…a woman who has always thrived on living life to it’s fullest, mistakes and all. This is what she would tell a 20-somethign about “what I know now”. It’s a great reminder that appreciating what you have can be a strong foundation to grow and create “the life you want”.
1. Choose your friends wisely….
It made me appreciate my friends. New friends and old friends were there for me throughout it all and everybody was saying, “I want to get chemo with you.” A handful of those friends were from my twenties. Thank god. These are the people that see you through that growth. They enable you. They help you grow. You have your falling outs but you stick it out. That’s a huge gift. So I think my advice would be choose your friends wisely. Don’t take toxic people into your life. I think we’re so much more aware of that in our forties.
2. Learning to be comfortable with my body…
It was a huge shift to think… “I’m really lucky to have it.” And my funky hair and breasts don’t even matter to the man who loves me. I think you just step away from it and go “It’s just not that important.” So that would be another thing I know now – don’t be so critical of your body. It all sounds so metaphysical but we’re all bodies and the things that matter to you now aren’t really going matter in the future. Not to minimize your existence now but we’re just saying… it’s all going to be okay.
3. Treat yourself with love and care…
I learned you have the ability to teach people how to treat you. It’s how you treat yourself. You have to value and honor yourself or no one else is going to do it. You may have a heads start in that department depending on your parents and upbringing …but I don’t think that’s necessarily the lesson. It’s knowing yourself and being true to yourself. It’s not about being a relationship because the guy looks right on the surface or taking a job because it’s cool. It’s being in touch with how you feel. For me, it happens through meditation and exercise but I think that’s different for everybody. It’s just connecting with yourself on a daily basis. That can translate to embracing your body or to not being afraid. We know that more at forty than we do at twenty. You may know yourself at twenty but you have to give yourself time and space to grow and change.
4. It doesn’t matter where you start….
You don’t choose your family but you can choose your friends and you can choose how you live your life now. You are more powerful through the good choices you make. You can create the life you want. For me that is the big lesson. The choices you make with your health, the choices you make with your friends, it can make you more powerful. It doesn’t matter if you had a bad start.