Three Gifts for a 20-Something (133)

Every time I interview a 40-something woman for 40:20 Vision I ask them what 3 “gifts” would they give a 20-something if they were a “Forty-Godmother”. Here are one woman’s gifts:


Freedom from feeling like a fraud.  I wish I had known that nobody really knows what they’re doing. You can trust your own instincts. You can have strong opinions…you don’t need to be embarrassed. What’s valuable about you is your  instincts. It’s okay to trust them. Instead you’re working double time to show that you can do what your boss can do… instead of what you’re really hired to do which is kind of not knowing.


A shield to deflect other people’s issues. It’s not personal. If someone is a bully it really is about them. Not that you should put up with it but you should know it. You are so sensitive in your twenties. You think everything is about whether you are liked or or not. In business it is not. It’s a hard lesson to learn.


Be thoughtful about how you love.  I was so superficial. I went for image and presence in my twenties. I wish I had gone a little deeper. I still have friends that go for the drama. You think drama must mean that he’s more interesting and really it’s just damage. It’s a lot more of a challenge to figure out who someone is and whether who they are makes you a better person and is compatible with you. It takes time to see if you can learn from who they are and whether you really respect who they are, but it’s worth it. Because down the road, all the chemistry in the world … is not gonna keep you together if you really aren’t into who they are as a person.

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