“The best thing about being twenty-something is that you have the priveledge and freedom of being an adult without any of the responsibilities. You need to feed yourself and support yourself, but you don’t have to support anyone else.
The worst thing is that you don’t have a true sense of yourself. I was at the mercy of outside forces. I did what I thought I was supposed to do…and then I just took the next step. Job, dating, marriage. And supposed to have a baby at 30. But by 30 I was divorced and wondering what did I really want?
Don’t just show up and do what you are supposed to do. If you don’t know what you want, just try things. There is no stigma with that. If you are resourceful you don’t need to be afraid of failure. Just try something you want to do now. It doesn’t have to be the rest of your life…except for marriage or children which should be. So don’t do it in your twenties unless you really know who you are. How can you get married to someone else if you don’t know who you are?”
That quote, or wish, for a 20-something was from a woman who didn’t know herself when she was 20-something. She found herself through a path of getting out of a marriage and a career that were not aligned with her values. How did she know? She says, “When you show up to work with a awful feeling in your gut and you go home and feel like you are watching someone else live your life it’s time to move on”. For her moving on was getting into yoga and writing. Letting herself be messy instead of right. And helping others to finally help herself. But it’s different for everyone. The key is stopping and listening to yourself and getting to know your values…most importantly valuing yourself. It’s not always easy but it’s worth it as this woman says:
“I would tell my 20-year old self that I am special and I deserve more than what I got. No one can ever do that to me now because wouldn’t allow it now. I accepted a bad relationship then. That would never fly now. Life would be different. I would know who I was and I would know my assets.
To thine own self be true. That is life’s hardest work. Actually knowing what you want instead of waiting for someone else to determine what you want… or doing what someone else wants or just going with the flow of what everyone else wants. You have to plug into what you really want and go for it. Be really honest with yourself rather than looking to others for cues.”