What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? Here 40-somethings share three wishes to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for themselves. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. Don’t pursue someone who doesn’t pursue you. I have lived that life. I got married at 42 because I was in a relationship for too long. I waited and waited and waited for the man who didn’t love me to love me. And then the light bulb went off. I want to be a relationship with someone who says, “I want. you.” Who pursues you too. It’s great if you think they are the greatest thing and you love them to death and you think you are made for each other, but if they don’t feel the same way it’s a tough road.
2. If you are unhappy in your job, set milestones for quitting. Otherwise you can get stuck.
3. When something doesn’t go the way you want (you didn’t get the interview, a reply to your text, invited to an event or a meeting) try not to write the script of why. You can spend hours angsting about it and thinking of reasons that have something you did wrong. That’s probably not the case and you will be much more productive the quicker you move on. If it’s is work you can ask about the meeting in a proactive, learning focused way (is there anything I need to know from meeting xyz, are they any next steps, learnings from your meeting with x) and express why you might be valuable at the next meeting or ask