Today is the second in the series on busy-ness. Is it a badge of honor or is it holding us back? Love to hear you weigh in– would you like to #banbusy?
Hi. My question has to do with being busy. I feel like I am constantly trying to prove myself and need to be doing so many things to get ahead or just keep up with all the people that seem to be achieving so many things around me. Did you ever feel this way? Did it go away? How do you manage trying to keep moving vs. just treading water by doing too much?
Did you ever feel this way? YES. Did it go away? Not on it’s own.
Recently we’ve seen more and more articles published on our “cult of busyness/culture of busy” some call it a “disease of busy”… I’ve personally struggled with “busyness” and it took a long time for the awareness to sink in. I’ll share some of my personal experience with hope that something resonates.
For me slowly getting better started with a change in perspective and my “default thinking” – which needs resetting each morning (meditation and morning quiet time rituals help).
I may have believed in my 20s that self reliance, self sufficiency and “independence” could ONLY be positive attributes. While they are, it was like most things…”more isn’t always better”…
I realized my “over developed sense of responsibility” – which led to over doing, over scheduling, saying yes too much, and lack of self care..was making my life unpleasant (amongst other words).
I found I had to re-define my personal definition of “success”. And, be gentle with myself along the way (after all, I was my harshest critic).
I began to put self care (self compassion, being kind and gentle with myself so I could be that way with others) on my list.
I put relationships on the list. Even though I always thought they always were on my list, I found that work, thinking about work, worrying about work (or, insert activity_____) kept me preoccupied. Not in a good way. I had trouble relaxing and enjoying the moment.
I wanted to be truly present when I was with someone or doing something. That meant single-tasking, slowing down and rest. It’s a process and part of a personal journey…it is getting better, with practice! It’s progress not perfection. Keep seeking and asking these questions…they are the good ones!
Be well!
– Executive Director, Finance