A 40-something global consultant talks about what she she learned about finding love. Her story…
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Be open to it…
The biggest stroke of luck that can ever befall anyone is to find an excellent match. I don’t have unrealistic standards. I don’t think you can find somebody who will satisfy every need you have in the universe. But to find someone you know you’ll always value and who’ll always value you and to have no question about that — that’s what sealed the deal for me. I just knew. I think you have to be open to it, definitely. It has to be about more than superficial things. It has to be about the deepest values that you hold.
Laugh….
We enjoyed out time together. He was fun to be with. I just knew he’d always be the most fun to be with. I never thought this would happen to me by the way. I just did not. Pretty amazing really. I had one college relationship but I was very independent.
Stay true to your dreams….
I just wanted to have an interesting life. I never had any of those dreams like a big wedding or kids or any of that sort of stuff. I never had a bucolic ideal of the future. It was much more that I wanted to travel and see things, experience things and to get the absolute most out of every single day. And that had never really changed. That ambition is still there and make an impact, to matter, to do stuff. That’s quite consistent. It hasn’t changed.
Avoid the list…
I think there are a lot of people who live- pull out their list and try and match their list. Don’t do that. I never did and I think it helps because I didn’t come at anything with any prior expectation. Then it won’t fall short of anything. It is what it is.
Expect the unexpected…live, love and learn
A marriage is like a universe, all undecided. There are worlds within worlds in a marriage. You have no idea about it in your twenties. The edifice of marriage is actually the every single day of it. It’s not the institution. It’s the bricks. It’s the private jokes. It’s the routines. It’s the way you know somebody else so well and yet can still learn so much from them.
I am incredibly lucky. If there is one thing, one achievement I’ve had it probably is like having a marriage.