What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? Here 40-something women share three things to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for themselves. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. Have an open-ness when you get into new relationships…personal or professional. Don’t make other people pay for mistakes they didn’t make.
2.Tolerance. People say relationships are about balance, give and take…compromise. They are about enhancement and building each other up — the whole is better than the parts. But they also are about tolerance. It’s seeing the weaknesses or the differences and loving them regardless. Or working with it. Hello people. We’ve got all have these different acts going on — the family roles, the husband or wife role, the friend role….and then our own roles. Living with all these roles is all about tolerance. Yes, it’s about compassion. And it’s about love. But it’s also about tolerance.
3. Find your own special. The most important thing I have learned is that I have to feel like I’m special and important all on my own. What I have been doing for most of my life is looking outward. I’ve been dependent on other people to make me feel important and special. To give me that feedback. That can be very dangerous for yourself but also for a relationship. No one can make you feel special …maybe they can some of the time….but when they can’t it makes the whole relationship vulnerable.