You should realize that you can make any choice you want and have anything you want.
The twenties are often a time of great freedom and fun but also insecurity. Worrying about money. Worrying about everything. Am I doing the right thing in my career? Is this right guy? If you were a 20 year old and could know that there are many paths to take and that you are the owner — I wish I had known that. You can make any choice you want and have anything you want. It’s your deal. Don’t feel like every decision is final.
You feel at first like everything is open then it narrows down. I got married at 26 because I felt like I had to do this thing…take this next step with the guy i had been dating. Even though I didn’t think I was ready, it didn’t feel quite right…I thought okay I have to do this now. I have to have kids. Now I’ve been divorced 12 years. I learned a lot and made me grow as a person and understand myself in a completely different way. A better way. You don’t have to take the past with you …all you need to take is what you learned.
The hardest thing for me to learn was that your existence in this world is only what you do. It’s not what you say or what you think. The only thing that affects someone else is what you do. It’s only your actions. It doesn’t even matter why you did or didn’t do something. It’s how you live your life. When you understand that, it’s a whole new reality. It’s hard to learn. You need a lightening bolt that gives you perspective.
I would teach 20-year olds to be true to your words. There is so much out there on goal-setting…but really it is all just the same thing. It’s saying what you are doing, and then doing it. Once you put it out there — if you have integrity to your word (which is really all there is) — then you are going to do it.– 40-something, travel industry, remarried, CA