Yesterday morning I caught a bit of the Today Show. There was a quote from Hoda Kotb that struck me. ”If you don’t love what you are doing, you will take it out on someone you love.”
Great point. If day after day you go to a job that you hate…or that you don’t get any satisfaction from…it will sap you of both energy and self-esteem. The constant disappointment (or worse, resentment) will inevitably manifest itself in your relationships.
For yourself, for your future, for your loved ones, it’s imperative that you find work that you “love”–that adds value to your life. No it isn’t easy. It probably won’t hit you over your head. You have to focus to find it. Pay attention to what gives you energy at work and what drains you of energy. Start channeling your energy toward those things that give you energy. Research ways to find work that allows you to do more of that.
Now for part two. After I heard the quote I thought…actually, “If you don’t love yourself, you will take it out on someone you love.”
I hear a lot of talk about wanting a partner who “puts me first” or “puts our relationship first.” If you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t put themself first…run. “Happiness” is not something we can have all the time, everyday, but someone who is never happy with their circumstances and is never satisfied with themself is constantly going to be looking or someone or something to blame for their shortcomings. And if they can’t find equilibrium in themselves (more positive self-esteem vs. negative self-esteem), you are not going to be able to give it to them. So they will eventually look to someone else to fill it.
I’m talking neither selfishness …nor depression, I’m talking about putting one’s own wellbeing first so there is energy to give to someone else. In both your career and relationships look for more “energy in” than “energy out”. When that balance is off…try to figure out why.