Valuing Friends — Find the No Judgement Zone

On deck for this weekend: a gathering of college roommates in NYC. That means lots of laughter, living, catching up, cocktails, and camaraderie. Yes they need nurturing, but the magic of some friendships is that no matter how long you go without connecting, the distance melts away when you get together.  Herewith, an ode to friends. They are so important, cherish them!”

“I am blessed with these three incredible and fabulous women as friends. The history we have shared is the most important quality in our friendships. To be fair, we all work to do things together (trips!) and stay in touch virtually every day or at least 3-4x a week. This is no small feat considering we all are very active. We do not judge our choices (i.e. men, jobs, travel, parents, siblings, kids) and this is probably one of the most crucial points in sustaining long-standing friendships. Although I have had other girlfriends (partner on the book, friends from touring, friends from TV production, etc.) they all came into my life at very predictable junctions and they left or “fell off” in the same way. I do not hold anything against them; it’s just natural for work-related paths sometimes. I think the “result of my actions” (whether touring, getting married, becoming a mother) only increased the permanence of these friendships. And, all of us believe wholeheartedly we could not live without our girlfriends!” – 40-something, LA


“Friends are your friends. Husbands die. Boyfriends leave. And who are you going to go to  – your girlfriends. Don’t let relationships get in the way of your friendships. I tell my daughters that all the time.   I am going to be gone. Boyfriends may come and go. Friends will be there forever.” – 40-something, Cleveland


“My friends are my support group. We do trips together and we stick together.  When people are sad or going through a divorce or your kids are going through major dramas, we don’t hide it and put on a happy face we get down with it.  We are honest. Aside from my husband they are what counts.” – 40-something, Atlanta


“Value your friendships. When you find a friend who accepts you for who you are that is a rare thing. Do anything you can to make your friends’ lives better because you’ll never know when you’re going to need them. If you want to be the kind of person who, if you are in need, your friends would drop something and come to help…. then you have to be the kind of person who would be willing drop things and make time for friends. You might think that it’s best to spend your time working and pursuing your career. It is important to do that but you have to make time to be with friends as well.” – 40-something, LA


“Cherish your friendships. Your female friends will be there forever. Be proactive in keeping in touch. Don’t just assume it will happen. Your friends will have your back. It’s knowing that early on…if a friend has your back. Do they care more about the friendship than if they are the center of attention or if a guy likes you.” – 40-something, Chicago

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