When Do Men Grow Up? The Guys Eye View (3)

Another thoughtful answer to the 20-something question on “When Do Guys Grow Up?”. This one from a 40-something guy, married, entrepreneur, from Chicago.


“I think 20-something men start to grow up at around 28…and if they haven’t grown up by 35, they never will.


My personal belief is very few people are ready for a “serious” commitment before the age of 28.   So, the word commitment is a tough one.   If you are referring to dating exclusively, that’s fine.  Dating [exclusively] is great. But if you are talking about guys not willing to date exclusively, let them go.   They can be fun…and that’s ok,  but don’t try to get them to commit to anything beyond having fun.


If your definition of commitment is something like asking a guy to say, “I’m committed to you because I think you may be the one” …that’s a whole different story. When a 20-something guy hears the word “commitment”, they may be hearing “pre-engagement”.   The word “engagement” does (and should) scare the pants off of them, because most guys simply aren’t ready. Frankly, I think it’s a bit of a mistake for most people younger than 28…especially guys…to “commit” in this way.   Most guys aren’t mature enough at 28 to handle it.


If you are in your lower 20’s forget about it and have fun.   If you are in your later 20’s and are looking for a commitment, you should look for guys a few years older.  There maybe a few younger ready to commit, but they’re probably taken.  Otherwise, enjoy dating and if you are patient, realistic, and honest with yourself in terms of what you really want out of a relationship, I think it normally works out.


As a happily married 40-something male, I started to “grow up” around 28…and continue to work on growing up.



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