Your 20s are Not a Stepping Stone to Real Life

There is a lot of talk today about delayed adulthood or extended adolescence. In some ways it diminishes the time for what it is. There will always be uncertainty in life…accept it and revel in the uncertainty. Don’t wait for certainty.  This women has a great perspective on appreciating your 20-something lifestage.


Your 20s are not a stepping stone to real life…enjoy them.


Everything in your 20s are firsts. Your first place on your own. First job. First taste of financial independence, freedom and things like that. But at the same time still there’s this feeling like it’s all temporary while you are waiting to get a boyfriend, get married or some sense of getting into real life. That’s one thing I wish was different. There’s this tendency to hold off on some things. Like you don’t buy real furniture until you get a house or something like that. Why would that be?  It’s not about waiting in the wings. This is a stage. Who knows if this stage might last a decade or it might last three years or it might last… 20 years. It’s so often about the next stage.  When are you going to get married? When are you going to have kids? When are you going to settle into the perfect career or buy a house?  Why?  Why can’t we just enjoy the stage for what it is rather than a stepping stone to the next stage.


I remember that feeling. Being single but thinking that you’re in this transitory period while you were looking for what you were supposed to do.For me the expectation  from society, from my parents, my friends was…. I’m sure you’re  going to get married and have a family. I thought about my career and things like that. Eventually I got an MBA but even that felt a little transitory. I don’t want my kids to have that model at all. There is no expectation that of course they’re going to get married and their husband will earn good money and all this other crap. That was still a very much expectation for me.


I just don’t think the single part is supposed to be transitory. In hindsight, I don’t know why you would go into that phase of life with that mindset. Maybe you won’t want a house for twenty years. You should live on old furniture for 20 years?It’s sort of like that.  It’s not only looking at what is this leading to but more like what is this just now?


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