This weekend I did a Three Gifts for a Twenty-Something post from a woman who wanted to give a 20-something the ability to “Love yourself. Find what makes you happy.The biggest gift you can give yourself is to love time with yourself.” She learned this from her personal life…she’s been married and divorced and recently broke off an engagement and bought her own house after giving a lot of time to asking what she really wanted. That’s not to say she doesn’t want a relationship but she learned it was really important to look inward: and ask yourself, “What is it that I want?” What is it that I want for myself? What is it that I want from the other person? Why is it that I am in this relationship?
All good questions. I also loved this story she told me about a woman who inspired this gift. This woman is yet another 40 years older and speaks to loving yourself. She chose to not get married at a time when societal expectations really pushed you there and has nothing to regret:
“I had a patient. She now works part time for a dog rescue. Never been married. Never had kids. Very attractive woman. She came to me because she injured herself rollerblading. She’s seventy five or eighty. She is very delicate, the bones, beautiful figure, beautiful face. She has red dyed hair. She was close to eighty and she was telling me that she never wanted to get married. She said ‘I never saw myself as married. I love people. I love being by myself. I love myself. I love the time with myself and that’s my biggest gift. I’m not one of those people. I’ve dated and I’ve had fun but I just like being by myself. I like reading. I like exploring.’ She’s so happy with her life.”