This “what I know now” advice is from a woman who was finally able to move on from a relationship that she realized wasn’t right. It’s hard to decide to go when you care for someone and everything seems right except the feeling in your gut. She realized that not wanting to hurt someone is not the same as loving someone.
I hear over and over again, as selfish as it seems, that you have to put yourself first. The advice to “follow your heart” works both ways…not only to pursue love but also to walk away from love that doesn’t feel quite right.
“Listen to your heart and head. I was with a man who was wonderful in so many ways…but when it came time to address the big picture items —there was no communication…no sync.
But because he was such a lovely guy, it was hard to accept that I was unhappy. As it turns out, open communication, acknowledgment of one’s need for self-betterment (which is a lifelong process) and passion ARE crucial elements in a relationship; without them neither of you can be completely fulfilled.
You need to be able to fully be YOU. It’s easy to excuse a partner for being blind to some of your needs but staying in a situation that is not right is a disservice to both of you.
I know how hard it is to move forward at the expense of someone else’s happiness. But self-preservation is so important. You have a whole life ahead of you to find a partner who suits your needs and with whom you don’t feel stifled.
As a friend advised me, “Six months of sharp pain are better than forty years of a dull ache”. It took time for me to move forward but I know now that it will always be okay. We both are better off. You owe it to yourself to become the best you that you can be.”
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