Almost every woman I talk to in her 40s went through the wrong guy (or 2 or 20) before finding their own happiness and along the way … the right guy. Many women who wish they spent less time in their 20’s in bad relationships or ended up with a divorce from their 20s almost always said they heard that voice that we all have in the back of our head saying something was not quite right. But, in your twenties you take these voices in your head as a challenge. Oh yeah? Watch me. I’ll make it work. I will persevere. Love conquers all. I will change him. They will appreciate what I bring to the party. They will grow up. Things will change. One woman’s perspective:
“It’s not going to work if you can’t make it work in your twenties. You should be having fun. If you’re arguing all the time and trying to fix things and breaking up and talking about getting back together, then it’s done. That’s not to say marriage isn’t hard but trying to make it work is a lot different than working through it.” – 40-something, wife, mom, designer, NYC
Typically, it’s a guy that excites us…but there is that nagging feeling that maybe you couldn’t or shouldn’t put up with these incompatible traits, resistance and just plain drama. When you try so hard to make it compatible, you often give up on your own needs and wants. Someday we wake up. But maybe we can offer 20 somethings a gift…just take a moment. Listen. Listen to the voices in your head. At least listen to them. They may be trying to tell you something. You may just make a different decision. Perhaps follow your heart doesn’t mean blindly follow love at all costs, it means follow what is best for your heart.