“No relationship will work in the long run unless you allow it to move at the pace of the person moving most slowly.” –– 40-something, Washington, DC
There’s a tendency in our youth to put things on a “track” and think life is going to move on our terms. Set goals for sure, but the minute you give yourself a strict timeline you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment, especially when it comes to relationships.
There’s no right age to move in together or get married…but what most women have learned is that it’s not when your friends are doing it, it’s not an arbitrary age you have had in your head, it’s not when your parents expect and it’s not when you feel it’s time…it’s when you both are ready. As this women reflects now, a year isn’t going to make that big of a difference.
“Now I’m wiser. It wasn’t healthy. I had decided I wanted to get married by age 25. I could have lost my soul mate. Would it have been that big of a deal I was not married right at 25? No.” — 40-something, New York, NY
But if it’s a constant push to get that other person to match you in your feelings, it might be time to move on. You will be truly worn out after years and years of feeling unappreciated.
You aren’t going to change him or make him move faster, he can only get there himself. If he isn’t giving you back anything and you’re constantly disappointed by his actions…say he’d always rather go out with his friends or he bails on meeting your friends and family…he’s probably not going to get there any time soon.