What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? Here 40-somethings share three wishes to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for themselves. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. You need to be able to grow and evolve as a person. If you are in a relationship that constantly takes and never gives you have no time for that. You won’t know yourself any better because no one is nurturing you or giving you the space to nurture yourself. I think If I was in a more supportive relationship in my twenties I wouldn’t have lost myself so much for a while. Just like with plants, you need water and vitamins.
2. Pick quality girlfriends. Its not just about whether they go to the latest and greatest bars and dinners at nighttimes because that is all surface. Girlfriend relationships are really important in your twenties because those are the people that will encourage you and give you your self-worth if you need that from others. I’m not saying everybody needs does need, it all comes from within, but your girlfriends and the people around you can serve as fertilizer and water for you.
3. Spend your twenties getting you know your physical self and your emotional self. I spent the first half of my twenties getting to know my physical self after gaining 40 pounds and seeing the impact on my life. Then I spent the second part getting to know my emotional self. Looking back I would have done that earlier. I think as we are starting in the workforce and supporting ourselves, we can get to know ourselves much better. We can travel. Your girlfriends can give you feedback. You can date to learn what you want and don’t want in a relationship to fit into your life and goals vs give yourself away. Then if you are ready for a relationship — and want a relationship — you are bringing good baggage. I have filled my suitcase with good stuff and I I know about myself now and that’s what I’m bringing.