My last post was from a woman who felt that if you don’t know something…then don’t make a decision. Let the truth reveal itself to you rather than force a decision. As the point here is to provide different perspectives so you can make your own decision, here are some other thoughts on making decisions from 40-something women:
Being carefree to the extreme is avoiding decisions and that will affect your life later:
“There should be a balance between being carefree and serious in your twenties because if you’re just wild and having fun and don’t pay any attention, you tend to make decisions that maybe aren’t going to help you move on with your life.
On the flipside, if you’re too serious and focus only on your career, it’s like you fast forward through your 20s and the next thing you know you’re in your 30s. And you are saying. ‘I’m not dating anybody I think I want to marry and I know I want to have children and by the time I meet someone… then how do you know will this be the right person?’ How many people more do I have to date before I realize this isn’t the right person? Then you might be 35 and getting engaged and married and it’s like okay now I’m 40 and I want to have kids and that whole thing. So if you are serious about wanting those things, try to balance your priorities in your 20s.” – 40-something, working woman who married and had kids in her late 30/s / early 40s.
Many women have learned that no decision is final…you can course correct.
“Don’t feel like every decision is final. You feel at first like everything is open then it narrows down. If you were a 20 year old and could know that there are many paths and that you are the owner, then you can make any choice you want and have anything you want. It’s your deal.” – 40-something who married young because felt she should rather than because she was sure. Divorced 12 years, happy in her 40s, loving her job and in a relationship
“You can change your mind about anything, except for children.” – 40-something, married, working mom, in midst of career change”
“It’s going to be okay. You make the best decision you can make at the time and the situation you are in and just know that wherever it takes you, that decision is going to take you somewhere and it will be okay. You may go through a lot of bad things in your life. You have to learn from the bad. I’ve experienced sickness, death, and financial hardship. You can’t let them win. You have to overcome them and you still have to stand up and be responsible for every decision you make.” – 40-something, working woman, artist, mom, wife
“When you’ve made a decision at twenty-three, it doesn’t mean it’s forever. You can only make your decision in your own vacuum, based on your immediate environment. If you’re 23 years old, you can’t make a decision that will hold for you when you’re 40. So I would say prepare for the evolution of your life and be open minded because that really is what prohibits people from becoming happy. – 40-something, mom, on second marriage and adjusting the picture as she goes
And as we hear often…you have to learn to listen to your gut…and that means making space for you to get to know your gut.
“A lot of bad choices happen when you can’t be alone”.
“Any bad decision I made happened because I was talking myself out of a gut feeling.“
While the woman in Monday’s post recommended not making a decision if you don’t know, she was not recommending not making a decision. Rather tune in to your gut to help the answer come to you .
“No decision is a decision to do nothing. I see a lot of people who did not make a decision to do anything — change their jobs, start a company, have kids. Making no decision is a decision. So you need to realize you’re making a decision to do nothing. That’s hard.”
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