Don’t Know? Don’t Decide Right Now

Decisions can be daunting. And you can be tempted just to make a decision just to move forward. That is the case with business…make a move and learn. But is the same true of personal lives? Today’s perspective is from a woman who thinks not.


“In business the sooner you make a decision the sooner you find out if it’s going to work or if it’s a mistake…and in either case you can move forward faster. You either correct the mistake or accelerate towards growth. I believe in that. But I don’t think the same works for your personal life. In work you have deadlines. In personal life, deadlines get us into trouble.

In your twenties you have all these voices telling you what you should do. It’s confusing. I remember being worried about making all these decisions and which way to go. A friend of mine told me, “If you don’t know the answer, don’t make a decision right now.” I have to admit this was advice from her dad originally!

Naturally, at the time I disagreed. I’m impatient and want to move forward and always thought knowing ‘right away’ was the sign that something was right. But now I realize it’s okay. If you have enough control and faith in yourself you can live with indecision and make a decision when you are ready. Then you are make the decision for yourself rather than a false deadline or instant gratification.

You don’t have to make irrational split decisions. When you know it’s time to leave someone or change your lifestyle…you will know. The same goes for deciding something is not right. Don’t be too quick to judge that something (someone!) is not right. Give yourself a little breathing room.”

When you are truly undecided, give yourself a little breathing room. This is different from knowing in your gut that something is wrong and ignoring it. In both cases, it’s a matter of being attuned to your gut instinct. Get some different perspective. Talk it through with your most unbiased friend.  Then it comes time to  to tune out the other voices in your head and ask yourself, what do I want? Pull out those listening skills you have and listen to yourself. If your not ready, don’t beat yourself up over it. Do keep checking back in with yourself rather than avoiding a decision.

Of course, decisions are a key discussion point with 40-something women. I’ll share some more perspectives on the topic of “decisions” throughout this week.



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