Easy Going or Too Easy On Yourself – The Downside of Wishy-Washy

On Sunday one of the 3 wishes for a twenty-something was to not be wishy-washy.

Wish #3: To not be wishy-washy. Know what you want.I was such a second child. I always went with the flow. Have an opinion and learn to be passionate about it. I think I’ve learned that the hallmark of a wishy-washy person is someone who doesn’t take care of him or herself; they take care of others. Now it’s interesting because I’ve made the switch. I don’t worry about other people at all. I really don’t.

This was from a woman who after years of being a people pleaser came to realize that being “easy-going” to an extreme actually is a sign of not having respect for yourself. This hit home today when someone said to me that as they got older they appreciate honesty more in people. Further that honesty is most respected when people don’t care how the other person will receive their honesty. They are not being honest to please but simply stating what is real. You can only be honest with others when you are honest with yourself.

“It’s hard to pursue truth if one is too committed to a certain image of one’s self.”


It is sometimes difficult to find the balance because we are wired to want harmony. But if you aren’t true to yourself, you sacrifice your own harmony for the harmony of others. Ultimately it’s a lose-lose. In relationships, if you are constantly trying to please your partner, they will only lose respect for you. Work on losing the washy- washy-ness and get into what you want. Of course this doesn’t mean you should have truth tourette’s syndrome…diplomacy and empathy helps. Don’t be honest just for honesty’s sake or for shock value…be honest when it counts.

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