What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? 40-something women share three things to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for themselves. No more woulda, coulda, shoulda.
1. Remember that marriage is about striving for the person you want to end up with, it’s not about striving for the wedding or the altar. Think about the next 40 years. Hollywood always shows the beginning at the end of the movie, two people on an altar. They never show what happens afterwards. So we’re trained to think of that being the end. Literally, you haven’t thought about anything. It is going to be work but it is good work.
2. Don’t compromise. If you compromise yourself for a relationship you wear away at yourself. Don’t think about fighting as compromise and one person is wrong and one person is right. Then one person always has to apologize for what they think. The only way to do it is actually find a point where that third point is bigger than either person. I think that’s true about profession too. It’s true about where you want to live and how you want to live because if you end up compromising the other one… it’s not a compromise. You actually have to see the positive in working out the third choice.
3. If you’re really great at something there is no obstacle in front of you.