One of the golden rules of relationships is that you need to talk about certain issues before you get married or commit to having a family. Kids, money and religion. That is not saying that you have to have the exact same perspectives for you need to understand where you differ and how you are gong to handle it. So many women told me they didn’t really talk about these things and it definitely causes stress later in a relationship once you start having children.
“Before you ever get married to somebody, you have to be on the same page about a couple of things: kids, money and religion. Those are big things that I think that can really be a problem.” – 40-something, Chicago, IL
But I think there may be a new one…and perhaps more relevant to twenty year olds and a precursor to the larger issues. What is your PDA style? There’s a new kind of public display of affection. Is your partner permanently attached to their PDA – their cell phone, their blackberry? Their mobile device? And what is your style? Are you always on or “on / off.” You see some couples out where they are both on their cells during dinner, in bed? If your partner works in certain businesses they are going to be on constant call. It used to just be doctors you associated with being “on call” but now it’s everyone. Certain jobs do call for attention to the deal…the financial world and international business and law But there are also more people just addicted to the vibrating call of the cell. Is that going to be a deal breaker for you or something that you are willing to put up with because you do love them? Will it drive you crazy when you have less time and more to talk about? Or can you both multi-task talking and texting? Here is one perspective but I’m interesting in hearing more!
“When you are happy, solid, the deal-breakers don’t matter. He can’t be away from his blackberry for 5 minutes. It bothers me but it’s weird. Because with anyone else it would have been a deal-breaker. All these things that used bother me…it’s really weird. It doesn’t bother me the way it used to bother me. Yeah it’s kind of annoying but we talk about it. Everything else is so solid. All of our eccentricities match up. No one else could possibly like the same things we both do.” – 40-something, Los Angeles, CA