40:20 Vision is a forum for women in their 40's to pass on what they have learned from their experiences and for 20-somethings to seek advice from women who lived with the choices we face in our 20's. Learn more >>
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Today’s post is from s 40-something reflecting on “what she knows now” about career, being a woman and self-worth:
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“In my twenties I really didn’t appreciate the glass ceiling thing. I have three brothers. I was a tomboy. I thought, “I’m going to show them that women are just as good. Watch me rock it to the top. So whatever I was going to do, it was important for me to be smart, successful, and live the mantra, “We can do it too.”
But now I think that part of that was doing it the men’s way. The difference between my twenties and my forties is that in my twenties I was afraid of my own pizzazz in the work world. I felt there was a certain structure and expectation for myself as a professional and as a woman. It worked. I looked the part and I got the jobs and I did them well even though I was very young. But now I realize that it is okay to show your true self. I was a fun, punky woman in my early twenties. But while I got the job done and I was very professional, my sense of humor didn’t come out so much.
Now I’m getting to the point where I speak my mind and have fun too. I think having the courage to speak your mind is part of self-worth. Self-worth is different than having self-confidence…or the “guts” to do things. It’s about doing it with knowledge of yourself. I think you have to learn to feel good about yourself. I really think we learn to feel good about ourselves from the inside because there comes a point where the outside achievements—they’re awesome — but they’re not important. I’ve learned self-worth has to do with respecting yourself with men and women alike.
- 40-something NYC, artist, writer, graphic designer, New York City
Filed under Career | Comments (4)Leave a Reply
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Tammy R
February 18th, 2013 at 3:05 pm
I love this line “they’re awesome – but they’re not important.” As a 40something, I feel the same way. I am so much more fun now than I once was trying to bend to what I thought the world expected of me.
Admin
February 18th, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Thanks Tammy…love that line “trying to ben what I thought the world expected of me”
Bonnie
February 18th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Thanks for this post. I’m in my 30s and starting to realize this for myself. I live in the SF bay area and somehow I’ve usurped an idea of success in the spirit of silicon valley that’s not necessarily mine. I’ve realized that I’ve lost myself in my 20s in pursuant of success in the form of ego and greed, and now I’m trying to reclaim myself. Slowly, I’m getting there. Thanks again!
Admin
February 19th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
Thank you for your comment. Coming to terms with the fact that you define your own success is a big move. It does not mean you do not strive — it just means there is more than one path! I always thought if I didn’t go straight up the line to Director/President or the top of whatever (and the compensation that came with it) that I wouldn’t be successful. Then I found my own path that let my mind succeed. Imagine what an upside down world it would be if we all followed the same path. Good luck reclaiming!!