Tying up some loose ends today — some incoming answers to a few recent questions on relationships both professional and personal.
On Career — New Manager Relationships
Another 40-sometthing provides perspective on an important issue many 20-somethings face — how do you become a manager? How do you navigate relationships when you get promoted and you are managing your 20-something peers? It’s a balancing act for sure This woman weighs in with some thoughtful advice based on years of experience. You can check out the answers here:
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Dear 20-Something,
The best way to handle this is to treat them with the respect you desire and be clear in your instructions and expectations. You need to remind them that it’s a team but ultimately the buck stops with you where management is concerned. Make sure they understand that you want everyone to be successful and that you are open to suggestions and alternative ideas. Make sure they clearly know the priorities of your company and division (e.g. the bottom line / financial success, shared ideas, teamwork, accountability).
Let them know that you are there to support and help them develop but that it’s your job to manage the department. If you treat them with respect as adults and make sure they know you are listening to them and interested in their ideas, they will eventually understand why you are in the position and respect your authority.
If not, keep a eye on them to ensure they don’t try to undermine you. Document when there are issues and ultimately take it up with your boss and/ or human resources department, depending on your company’s hierarchy and chain of command. You deserve to have responsible, respectful people working on your team for your ultimate success.
– 40-something, Global Director, Global Media, Lifestyle and Entertainment Company
On Relationships — Sweet, Kind and Funny vs. Passion
Another fabulous 40-sometthing weighs in on what to do when he is the greatest guy ever but there’s no attraction. Original question here:
Dear 20 Something,
I have been there and done that – if the passion and sexual attraction are not there, BELIEVE ME, no amount of niceness and joking will matter, you will always be wondering “if” and potentially looking elsewhere. Sitting on a sofa and cuddling in pajamas while watching tv is NOT what a makes people stay in relationships! A successful relationship must have mutual attraction, excitement, fun, loads of laughs, respect and trust to make it work. If you are not being honest about your attraction, you will eventually erode the trust.
– 40-something, design, entrepreneur, Brooklyn, NY
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