If You Want It You Have To Go For It – What I Wish I Knew Then

Be vulnerable and work hard. It was always my instinct to hide my insecurities. I didn’t want anyone to think I was weak, but now I realize it’s okay. It’s okay for you to feel weak. It’s okay if you want to cry.  I tell my interns be authentic, be real. If you get out there and if you fail, it’s alright. What matters work ethic. If you have big dreams and goals, you better work hard to get where you want to go.  I’ve worked really hard to get where I am. You have to take care of yourself, but if you want it you have to go for it.

You have to be responsible for your time and happiness. I am now much more secure in my identity now. For some reason, when I was younger, I put all these expectations on my partners to make me happy or to entertain me. If he didn’t entertain me I was like, “What’s going on…why aren’t you entertaining me?” There is something wrong with the relationship. I need a better relationship. That is a recipe for disappointment. I didn’t need another relationship to make me happy, I needed to figure out what I needed.

You need your friends. When all your friends are his friends, that’s a sign you are dating a “controller”. What happens when you try to make the plan? Don’t get me wrong, you need your separate interests and your time with your friends. And you don’t have to have this big social life. But if you do have a social life and it is all his, and he resists meeting your friends, that’s a big watch out.

— 40-something, travel industry exec, remarried, Connecticut

Three Gifts for a 20-Something: What three “gifts” would you give a 20-something if you were a “Forty-Godmother”? Here 40-somethings share three wishes to help a 20-something get a head start on the confidence to make decisions that are right for them (not their parents, friends, teachers or society). No more woulda, coulda, shoulda. 

If you would like to submit your three gifts, use the share/ ask / submit link!


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