Today I’m posting a guest blog submitted by a 20-something reader.
Something Like This, by Nicole Lulinski
I am an artist. A free-flowing, spontaneous stack of soul-ripping emotion. I’m a character in a Woody Allen film- plucked out directly from the screen and finding her way around the world. A desperately passionate, romantic and pathetically nostalgic girl, just trying to express herself.
Actually, scratch that, who am I kidding? I’m just kind of an artist. A 20-year old college graduate playing dress up with blog posts, half-finished paintings and chicken scratched movie ideas in my sketchbook. See, all that’s inside of me doesn’t amount to anything if I can’t find a way, (anyway), to express my thoughts, emotions and that thudding way my heart beats when I feel like I’m really alive.
So, I write, I draw, I create. Or well, I try to. I never feel like it’s enough. I start reading or watching and I come across something in a book, in a line acted out of a movie and I know why I don’t want to wake up in 20 years and feel infinitely small and wonder what I brought to the world.
Because for that one millisecond after you read a line or see that movie that might be meaningless to anyone else, you, ONLY YOU, can connect with this unknown person who wrote it. There’s an unmistakable link, a connection that joins you and this person together. You don’t know them but they know you. Those headaches you’ve felt, the stomach crunching numbness, the endless smallness… are you telling me you’ve felt it too?
You feel a rush of relief that you’re not crazy. You’re human and someone else, someone who’s out there deep in the world with a completely different life, has felt the exact same thing you’re feeling now. You don’t feel as small as you felt a minute ago. In that deep understanding and relief, you have to believe you aren’t alone.
And so, I keep writing, keep creating, keep trying. Because if all I can do is let someone know that they’ve got someone in the whole big world that knows how they feel… then that’s enough.
Wonderful post. Nicole is using her voice to express herself, inspire others…and in in the process, start connecting the dots of who she is and what she wants to be (a constantly evolving process!). I love the insight that one quote or line can make you feel like finally someone understands this overwhelming or amazing or confusing or scary thing you are feeling or experiencing and can tie it up in one beautiful bow. Whether you write or not, collect those lines and quotes….see if there is a thread or just enjoy them. You’ll appreciate it when you are 40!
About the author:
Nicole Lulinski is an immigrant from Argentina. She currently lives in Miami, Florida and has just graduated from university.Her own words on where she is now:
“I’m a hopeful future art director, but currently in limbo as I just graduated from university this month. I’m 20 years old and I’m learning about myself every single day and find that writing is the most confusing, most relaxing, most rewarding activity I do. If I’m not writing, I’m planning my next backpacking trip, creating political cartoons for local newspapers and brainstorming my life away. I can’t French braid, I love advertising, I love learning, creating, dancing, playing with puppies, mismatching and wonderful conversations over brunch. I could survive with a good book, a sketchpad and a lovely micron pen. My secret dream is to one day own a juice bar in Aruba, writing stories, selling smoothies, art & thoughtful advice.”
You can follow her on her blog, The Pink Elephant Saga, where this post originally ran.
Anyone can submit their “What I know now …or what I’m learning now” story on the blog via the Submit a Story link on the left side of the site!
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