On Friday I answered a question from a 20-something asking what if it’s difficult to be single at 40. The answer was…no harder than being married at 40 and probably easier than being single in your 20s (you likely have more money than when you were younger and less responsibility than being married at 40). Some may argue with the easier than in your 20s part because we all feel pressure to be a couple in a world of “twos”. But many women at age 40, both married and single, start fixating on what makes them happy. They re-adjust that vision of what life should be…which is often times outdated…and start re-priorizing and creating a new vision. Happily ever after can change so don’t get tied down to one version of what that can be.
I thought this 40-something had a great wish for 20-somethings on taking life as it comes and not getting too fixated on a that vision.
Dear 20-something,
Don’t spend your time trying to find that guy who is going to be the prince and show up and acquiesce to your vision of what your future should be. Come on. Why would you spend 20 years of life doing that when all you have to be is true to your ideas and live your life. And if someone shows up who you are willing to give your time and energy and love to, then great. Otherwise have a great time. Date anyone you want to. Enjoy yourself in every moment. Have experiences. Then you can look back and say well that was interesting.
Really what you want to be is your own person. When you are with someone that you are genuinely interested in and he gives it right back to you. Then you’re okay and don’t have to worry about do I look cool? Does he have the right job? Do we look cute together? What will our wedding photo’s look like? Just enjoy it for yourself. There is no one more important than yourself – ever, ever, ever. And if you can find someone that shares that opinion and thinks that about you, then you have found the perfect match. And if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, you’ve had a great time getting to where you are.
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