“Friends don’t let friends date idiots. My roommate and I were a bad combination. We were in our 20s and we would talk to each other when the guy in our life was not so nice and we would tell eachother, “Oh he’s just going through a bad time, it will get better.” We were just encouraging each other to stay with the jerks. Two co-dependent idiots. We had a joke, “Did he hit you over the head with a frying pan yet? Okay then it’s not that bad.” Really we should have been hitting each other over the head with that pan and saying, “Yes he is a jerk and you are stupid for going out with him!” – 40-something, married mom in Cleveland
Love this quote. Oh if only we had listened. Of course, when you are in love with the bad guy, the last thing you want to do is listen to friends who tell it like it is. In fact, a lot of people warn that you should never tell a friend what you really think of their a**hole boyfriend because it will come to haunt your friendship. The old adage is to never tell a recently broken up friend how much you hated her boyfriend as that will lead to awkward moments if they get back together. But I don’t necessarily agree. If you are honest from the start when you see her being treated poorly, rather than after the fact. You don’t have to do it in a offensive way and just make sure you support her no matter what she does. She may not listen right away but it will be tucked away in the back of her mind with the same inner voice that is telling her something is not right. Eventually she will listen to those inner voices if he doesn’t beat her to it …or maybe she won’t. You never know what makes a relationship work on the other side. But do whatever you do, don’t encourage it. Be the objective one, she’ll appreciate it in the end.
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